A Proverbs 31 Breakthrough

Today being the 31^st, I listened to Proverbs 31 via the Daily Audio Bible app on my iPhone on my way to work as I do everyday. While listening to the familiar verses of this perfect wife and mother, something strange happened. I stopped focusing on all the things she does that I don’t do or can’t do!

Talk about a breakthrough! Thank You, Jesus!

You see, if you are anything like me you have not found much encouragement in the scriptures defining “A Wife of Noble Character” as titled in the New Living Translation. It has been more like a to-do list and a smack down on my abilities as a wife. A new wife at that, geez!

But not today! Today the Holy Spirit said enough is enough. He gently reminded me that I am a well able and capable wife! So, like God so lovingly reminded me; I want to encourage you to look at Proverbs 31 and see where you ARE succeeding and not where you might be lacking.

Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11-12

            YES! This is me! My husband has told me many times over how much he trusts me and that I have added to his life since we met.

….she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25

            YES! Me, again! My husband loves the calmness I have about life and that I don’t get all riled up over the tests and trials that we face.

So, as to not drag on with how close I am to being a “Wife of Noble Character” I will stop there LOL!! I promise I am kidding J

But really, ladies, look over Proverbs 31 and share with me the verses you see yourself succeeding at and how your husband and/or children have affirmed this.

Be blessed my sisters!

Read Proverbs 31 here. 

He's "Supposed" to Do That

So what are the chores, responsibilities and duties that your husband is “supposed” to be doing? Taking out the trash, opening doors, providing for the family? Your list may include these and some more.

Over the weekend, my husband worked Saturday and Sunday after he had already worked Monday thru Friday. He has his own business, which often calls for him to work on weekends and also has a full-time job during the week. Whew! I am already tired just typing that! Well, when he told me he would be working both days I was a little sad because neither of our sons would be over and I was looking forward to time alone with him. But then, I was gently reminded by the Holy Spirit that we have been praying for God to increase his business, so CHEER UP!

While at home relaxing, running errands, attending church and getting plenty of rest I thought of my husband out in the Texas heat working hard to provide for his family and sacrificing his time and rest. This made my heart smile! You see, before meeting my husband I dated men who could not keep a steady job. I was often left picking up tabs, helping THEM pay THEIR bills and coming to THEIR rescue when in financial trouble. Therefore, my husband’s work ethic is something I greatly appreciate. God had so much better for His daughter!

My husband works very hard and he never complains about it. His mother instilled the importance of working at a very young age and it has stuck with him. Thank You, Jesus! There are some wives who take what their husbands do for granted. They may believe no “thank you” is due for something he is “supposed” to do anyway. Not true, ladies! Yes, I know the scripture that says, “If you don’t work, you don’t eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10). But PLEASE, don’t use that against your husband. That’s not how God intended that scripture to be used.

Be grateful for everything your husband does. There is nothing too small to say “thank you” for. He may tell you that you don’t have to thank him, but do it anyway! I promise you it makes a difference to him. So many wives are suffering with having to provide for their families because the husband is unwilling to work or maybe can’t find a job in this economy. Thank our Heavenly Father for your husband who knows his role as provider and gets enjoyment out of doing it!

There are many ways we can show our appreciation. Learn your husband’s love language and express your love and appreciation accordingly. For a bonus, don’t stop at one language; pick two or three!

For example, my husband’s primary love language is Quality Time, so I:

Quality Time – I watched the Olympics with him and went to bed when he went to bed instead of staying up and watching TV in the living room.

Acts of Service – I cooked a great meal! Yes, I cooked on a Saturday! LOL

Words of Affirmation – I sent him a text thanking him for his sacrifice and letting him know what a blessed wife I was.

So, now it’s your turn! What “supposed” to do thing will you thank your husband for and how?

Communicating Your Needs to Your Husband

How many of us have had the following thought: "Well he should know ______"?

I believe we all can fill in the blank with something there. Well, the truth is, he doesn't know unless you tell him. Communicating our needs can be very difficult because we are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Just the idea of sharing something that we need from our husband can cause some wives to become anxious and nervous, then decide to just keep it to themselves.

The outcome of keeping it inside can cause resentment and anger toward our husband and he won't even know why. That's not fair to him our healthy for the marriage.

Just this past Sunday, I was fuming in the car after church because my husband did not compliment me on my perfume, my dress or how I looked at all. Matter of fact, it had been 3 days since he had given me a compliment and I was silently simmering in the passenger seat! That's right, I am keeping count! You may laugh, but my love language is Words of Affirmation and this is very important to me. In my head I was thinking of all the ways I could tell him how he did not compliment me and when he was talking to me I was not responding to him in a respectful way. I'm sure he was thinking what is wrong with her??

Right then I begin to pray: Lord, please talk to this man about how he needs to compliment me. I do not want to be mad at him over this. Thank you, Lord. Amen. Well, while we were still riding in the car he tells me I look good in my dress and he likes my shoes and calls me a FOX! LOL I was on cloud 9. (Thank You, God!) Then yesterday, he sends me a text and calls me "Good Lookin"....God is sooo good! Exceedingly, abundantly ABOVE ALL we can ASK or THINK! Do you all know that scripture? It's Ephesians 3:20-21.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

So here are some ways to communicate those needs:

•    Praise. When he does that thing that you love so much; praise him for it. "Honey, I love it when you do that" will go a long way! He wants to please you and wants to know how.
• Text/Write/Email. Sometimes it can be much easier to write down something we need to say. Just make sure you pay attention to the tone of your words. We don't want to come across negatively. I am a firm believer that using a term of endearment such as Baby, Honey, Sweetie Pie...makes everything after sound much better!
• Pray. No one can reach your husband like God can. Go to your Father in Heaven and ask Him to speak to your husband about what you need from him. God is so faithful to these types of prayers. He answers them speedily! I can testify to it in my marriage.

So, ladies please comment with a need you have and how you will communicate that need to your husband. I would love to hear your praise report!

God Will Teach Us

When we turn our life and will over to the care of GOD, He will guide us on the journey to become the person that we were meant to be. For He has promised; I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. (Psalm 32:8)

This scripture is one of many I can testify to. I have had the desire to be married for many years, but didn't know the first thing about being a wife. I can remember praying and asking God to teach me how to be a wife and what it means to be married. He answered swiftly and through the counsel of the Holy Spirit led me to scriptures, books, sermons and mature Christians to educate me on what I needed to know. Ladies, do not think God will send you one of His sons if you are not one of His daughters. It won't happen.

I encourage you, if your experience is like mine where all you have seen or been apart of is divorce and dysfunctional relationships, to seek God for His instruction on marriage.

Please share some wisdom that God has revealed to you about being a wife.

Thanks for reading!
Chrystal