Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Sighs, Rolling Eyes, & Slamming Gates

Before I was married I read countless number of books on marriage, what it means to be a wife, and how to treat my husband. Love & Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is one of my favorites and was a real eye-opener into the needs of men and women. I was so gung-ho about respecting my future husband! Woohoo! I got this, I can do this!

I had asked God to show me how to be a wife and there it was in black and white in the book, Love & Respect and in His Word. Ephesians 5:33 says,”…and the wife must respect her husband.” Instructions directly from the Creator of marriage.

Well, remember this was all before I was a married woman. And now, that I have been married for all of 3 months I can already see this is not as easy as I thought it would be. Can, I get an amen? I mean I have the BEST intentions, I have the knowledge and I have the desire to be respectful to my husband, but for some reason I struggle with this from time to time.

For example, when I am in the kitchen and I am making my husband’s plate or I am cooking something he has requested; this sound comes from deep inside me. It’s a sigh! Yes, an innocent sigh. But, it can be seen as more than that from my husband because the truth is that sigh is an expression of my displeasure in what I am doing.

And then, sometimes when he is not looking; I roll my eyes at what he says. Yep, sure do. Is that respectful? No way!

We have a gate outside that if you are not careful and hold it the gate will make a loud noise as it slams back into place. Normally, we hold the gate and let it go back slowly as to not let it slam. But, if I’m not in the best of moods or again unhappy with hubby--- I’ll let that gate go and BAM, take that!

Ohhhhh, but THANK GOD for His conviction! The Holy Spirit, speaks to me and says “now, that’s not right, daughter.” I must remember what He taught me. Yes, being respectful is the big stuff like not speaking rudely to him in front of the children, not going behind his back and making your own decisions, but it is also the little things like maintaining a good attitude even when he asks us to do things for him that we don’t “feel” like doing.

Showing our husbands respect is what we are called to do by God. And since He has called us to do it, that means it can be done. In His strength and His power. We must not be fooled and think we are going to be respectful apart from God. So press into Him more and more and rise above your feelings. Something that works for me is the thought of him treating me that way. The old Golden Rule. Yep, the one wayyyy back in elementary still keeps me in check.

So, ladies, please share what those little dare I say “disrespectful” attitudes and actions that you may have and how you overcame them or what God is doing to help you overcome?


  1. WOW Chrystal!! This piece is really moving. Thank God for you as you inspire more women out here. And here's your "AMEN!!!!!!!!" you asked for. I can't tell you how many times i've let that gate go BAM! Thank God for forgiveness and the best husband.
    To add to what you already said...sometimes we take advantage of our 'Godly' husbands. I know there are things I do just because I know my husband will not react in a negative way. Ain't that something.
    That respect thing is hard lie about that!

    1. Thanks, Etondi! Glad to know I'm not the only one :)
      Great point about how we can take advantage of our Godly husbands. That is so true! I have to remember he is a gift and I need to treat him as such.

  2. Respecting the hubs can be very hard at times but I must say I'm much better at it then I used to be and I continue to pray and work at my eye rolling hand swaying back talking and door slamming everyday

    1. Thank you for your honesty and for your comment, Mattalin. Yes, with each day we should get better. We always keep striving!

      I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:14)

  3. I struggle greatly with this because I feel like I do a lot more in my marriage and family than he does. I don't notice that I do these things until he calls me out on them, and then I'm like "great, here's a fight." My husband gets offended by every little things, and its hard. I feel like I have to tip toe around him :(

    1. Dear sister, I know it can be very difficult to be respectful in those circumstances. I highly recommend the book "The Respect Dare" which can help you grow in your relationship with God and your husband. May I suggest lovingly talking to him about how he can help out more and contribute more to the marriage and family. Communication is so key and can help bring about change if he is open to it. In the meantime, lead by example and demonstrate godliness and holiness before him.

      In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over (1 Peter 3:1)

      Be blessed,