Friday, June 21, 2013

Celebrate Your Mate! (Part I)

The word celebrate brings about feelings of excitement and anticipation. The definition of celebrate according to Webster's dictionary is:
  1. to honor (as a holiday) especially by solemn ceremonies or by refraining from ordinary business
  2. to mark (as an anniversary) by festivities or other deviation from routine
  3. to hold up or play up for public notice
Now many of us when we think of celebrating we think of birthdays, anniversaries, or weddings. But, we are going to focus on celebrating a person, the person you have vowed before God and people to love until you leave this Earth.

That IS something to celebrate!

Since we have already defined the word celebrate let us look at a few words that are closely related, synonyms, to celebrate:

Bless, praise and magnify. These are words we are familiar with, especially as Christians. We know what it is to bless the Lord, praise His holy name and to "magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together" (Psalm 34:3).

God has designed it that we put Him first and so by no means should we celebrate our mate over God, but I am saying that celebrating your mate is important to your marriage.


So, let's look at how we can bless our spouse, meaning how we can contribute to their happiness. How we can put a smile on their face and in their heart.
  • With your words. Words are incredibly powerful. The bible says, "death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Prov. 18:21). Use your words to bless your mate and bring life to your relationship. 
Remember to speak lovingly to one another and use manners. I know this sounds simple, but "please" and "thank you" goes such a long way. We speak so nicely to those we work with, waiters and strangers we come in contact with and our mates deserve the same if not better treatment. Add some sweetness to the way you talk to your spouse. This is a way to bless your spouse daily.

When my husband and I were dating we were out having dinner and he said "pass the me the salt". I passed the salt, but inside I was fuming. Where was the "could you please"? You see for me I liked to be asked to do things, not told. Of course my husband did not see it that way and was not trying to be rude, but that’s how I received it. Once I lovingly told him how I needed him to speak to me he worked very hard to remember to ask me rather than tell me. He even adds a Babe or Honey in there to make it even sweeter.

  • With your actions. Love is an action word. When you love someone you “DO” some things. The bible says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.” (1 John 3:18 NLT). This is where knowing your mate’s love language is so very helpful. The 5 Love Languages is a must have resource for every married or engaged couple written by Dr. Gary Chapman. By learning your mate’s love language and speaking it regularly you can be assured you are blessing them by loving them the way they need to be loved.

Rick Warren, the author of a Purpose Driven Life, says it like this, “If love were just an emotion, then God couldn’t command it. But love is something you do. It can produce emotion, but love is an action. We can talk a good act: “I love people.” But do we really love them? Our love is revealed in how we act toward them. 

Very wise words from this dynamic pastor…

If your spouse has expressed to you something you do makes them feel loved. KEEP DOING IT. On the other hand if something you are doing is driving them insane and he or she has asked you to stop. STOP DOING IT. So easy, right? But yet you have many couples who won’t follow these simple instructions.

Being newlyweds my husband and I went through the adjustments that occur when you move in together. There have been several things he has asked me to do or not do. Some are minor some are major, but they all involve making his home, his castle and every one of his requests I have complied with. I’m blessing him with my actions and celebrating him as an individual who has his own way of doing things. He has done the same for me.
  • With your spirit. My spirit you may be asking yourself? Yes, your spirit that is connected to God. Your spirit in which the Holy Spirit speaks to you. Even before we can bless our spouse with words or actions we must bless them with our personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It is through Jesus Christ that we can offer blessings and not cursings, to be angry and not sin, and to forgive when we want revenge. Stay connected with prayer, bible study and attending church on a regular basis.
I asked my husband what makes him feel blessed as a husband. His answer was having a God-fearing wife. He knows I will honor my vows because I honor God first. He can trust me because of my relationship with Jesus. He knows God will get me! 

Also, when you allow the Holy Spirit to work in you it shows. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23). If we are going to celebrate our mate we are going to have to walk in the Spirit.

It is my sincere prayer that you will take something from this blog post and celebrate your mate by blessing them in some way every day!

Please feel free to comment on how you are currently blessing your spouse or how you plan to.

Stayed tuned for Part II coming next week! Thanks!