Celebrate Your Mate! (Part II) - Praise

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Praise makes you feel good. Praise makes you feel loved. Praise energizes you to keep going. It can come from your boss, your co-workers, your best friend, children, but nothing compares to the praise you receive from the one you love. Now that kind of praise has the power to turn a bad day into a good one, a frown into a smile. So, I don’t have to say any more about what praise can do. Many of you know what it’s like when you receive it and when you don’t.

My primary love language is Words of Affirmation and during pre-marital counselling my husband learned my language and over time has grown to speak it fluently. It wasn’t very easy for him at first because he didn’t grow up all warm and fuzzy like I did. My mom told me she loved me every day, always complimented me, said nice things to me and about me and my husband’s family was somewhat different. His mother demonstrated her love in how she took care of them and provided for them. Praise was not prevalent in their household. So, he meets me and has to LEARN how to praise me. And may I say he not only knows what to say, but when to say it! He’s been an excellent student of me…but let me keep going…

Praise is very important to a marriage because it’s a way to make sure your mate knows that their efforts are being recognized. Yes, there are certain things we are “supposed” to do as a husband or wife, but it still feels good when your spouse notices and praises you for it.

Make a goal of making praise an everyday thing in your marriage. If your marriage is in a difficult season right now, praise can aid in turning things around. Finding something to praise your spouse about can help take the focus off the negative thoughts that you may be having about him or her.

Praise doesn’t have to be on a grand scale for the big things in life. It has a great effect on the small things such as when my husband washes my car I say” You did a great job honey, I can see out the windows so clearly”….when my husband is eating something I have cooked he says “this is delicious”. These are ways you can get started on praising your spouse this week or even today! Go out of your way to make your mate feel good about themselves and let them know how wonderful you think they are.

Another way of celebrating your mate is praising them when he or she is not around. Any chance you get to tell someone something positive and great about your spouse you should do it. We hear enough from our friends and family who complain about their spouse and some complain so much you wonder why did they get married in the first place. No, be different. Ask God to keep watch over your mouth and if you don’t have anything nice to say about your mate, don’t say it all. Add this scripture to your prayers, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”(Psalm 19:14). I understand we all need to vent sometimes, but at least make sure it’s someone you can trust and don’t bad mouth your husband or wife to anyone that will listen.

Just last week my husband placed an order for my favorite bbq sandwich and I just needed to pick it up on my way home. When I pulled up the owners starts saying “there she is, there she is”. I was looking around like who’s here??? Well they were talking about me! The gentleman told me my husband said I would be in a gold car and I would be beautiful. I couldn’t do anything but smile from the inside out! The funny thing is I know I was looking  a hot mess! But that’s OK my husband said I was beautiful! You know he got major points for that, right?

PRAISE is also about compliments. Tell your wife she’s beautiful. Tell your husband he is handsome. Compliment perfume, cologne, new dress, new suit. Anything and everything goes when it comes to complimenting or should I say celebrating your mate!

Read from the Song of Solomon Chapter 1, verses 15-16.

"The young man says How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful! Your eyes are like doves.

The young woman says: You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words!"

If you need some inspiration on complimenting your spouse, God has it for you in His word.

Here’s just another tip: temptation is real! Don’t let some other man or woman out in the world compliment your husband or wife more than you. Praise from a flattering woman or man can be the tool the devil uses to draw your spouse’s attention elsewhere in a moment of weakness. 

Here is a portion of Proverbs 5 which warns us about this trap:

For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,

    and her mouth is smoother than oil.

 But in the end she is as bitter as poison,

    as dangerous as a double-edged sword.

 Her feet go down to death;

    her steps lead straight to the grave.

 For she cares nothing about the path to life.

    She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.

PRAISE that evil spirit away and make no room for it to come in between your marriage! Take a minute or two today and notice something good your husband has done and praise him for it. Do it today and tomorrow and the next day! Practice makes perfect!

He's "Supposed" to Do That

So what are the chores, responsibilities and duties that your husband is “supposed” to be doing? Taking out the trash, opening doors, providing for the family? Your list may include these and some more.

Over the weekend, my husband worked Saturday and Sunday after he had already worked Monday thru Friday. He has his own business, which often calls for him to work on weekends and also has a full-time job during the week. Whew! I am already tired just typing that! Well, when he told me he would be working both days I was a little sad because neither of our sons would be over and I was looking forward to time alone with him. But then, I was gently reminded by the Holy Spirit that we have been praying for God to increase his business, so CHEER UP!

While at home relaxing, running errands, attending church and getting plenty of rest I thought of my husband out in the Texas heat working hard to provide for his family and sacrificing his time and rest. This made my heart smile! You see, before meeting my husband I dated men who could not keep a steady job. I was often left picking up tabs, helping THEM pay THEIR bills and coming to THEIR rescue when in financial trouble. Therefore, my husband’s work ethic is something I greatly appreciate. God had so much better for His daughter!

My husband works very hard and he never complains about it. His mother instilled the importance of working at a very young age and it has stuck with him. Thank You, Jesus! There are some wives who take what their husbands do for granted. They may believe no “thank you” is due for something he is “supposed” to do anyway. Not true, ladies! Yes, I know the scripture that says, “If you don’t work, you don’t eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10). But PLEASE, don’t use that against your husband. That’s not how God intended that scripture to be used.

Be grateful for everything your husband does. There is nothing too small to say “thank you” for. He may tell you that you don’t have to thank him, but do it anyway! I promise you it makes a difference to him. So many wives are suffering with having to provide for their families because the husband is unwilling to work or maybe can’t find a job in this economy. Thank our Heavenly Father for your husband who knows his role as provider and gets enjoyment out of doing it!

There are many ways we can show our appreciation. Learn your husband’s love language and express your love and appreciation accordingly. For a bonus, don’t stop at one language; pick two or three!

For example, my husband’s primary love language is Quality Time, so I:

Quality Time – I watched the Olympics with him and went to bed when he went to bed instead of staying up and watching TV in the living room.

Acts of Service – I cooked a great meal! Yes, I cooked on a Saturday! LOL

Words of Affirmation – I sent him a text thanking him for his sacrifice and letting him know what a blessed wife I was.

So, now it’s your turn! What “supposed” to do thing will you thank your husband for and how?